On Parasocials, Harassment, and Setting Boundaries

Table of Contents

  1. Summary
  2. What is Being “Parasocial”?
  3. What does “Unhealthy” Look Like?
    1. Examples
  4. Sexual Harassment
  5. How do I Set Boundaries?

Summary

This page contains material that may be disturbing including cyberbullying, sexual harassment, and stalking. Reader discretion is advised.

I felt like I needed to create this section due to recent graduations that I’ve seen in both the corporate and indie VTuber space due to unhealthy parasocial relationships by both the viewer base and the VTuber. Since being a content creator is inherently parasocial in nature, it is important to set clear boundaries for both yourself and your audience.

What is Being “Parasocial”?

Being “parasocial” is often used as an umbrella term for unhealthy relationships between an entertainer and their audience. Typically, it is used to describe “simps”, fans who who put supporting their “oshi” above their own needs, and at worst, stalkers.

However, like most thing, in reality, there are levels to it and creator/audience relationships are always going to be a little bit parasocial.

According to this article by Verywell Mind about parasocial relationships, the 2 main stages of parasocial relationships are:

  1. Parasocial Interactions: When you feel a sense of belonging when actively interacting with someone. When you think about the person after finishing the stream.
  2. Parasocial Attachments: Having an attachment similar to a real-life relationship. When an person or fictional character becomes a source of comfort.

The descriptions of both of these sound very normal. Wanting your viewers to feel a sense of belonging or safety when watching your streams isn’t a bad thing and can be the basis of a healthy community. And as a streamer, remembering information your viewers shared in chat about their personal lives may be a way to show you care about your audience, their time, and their wellbeing. What’s important is making sure you are setting clear boundaries between yourself and your audience to ensure this does not get to unhealthy levels.

What does “Unhealthy” Look Like?

For viewers:

  • Feeling incomplete when a streamer is on hiatus
  • Expecting favors for donations
  • Wanting to pursue a relationship with the streamer
  • Trying to find out personal information about the streamer such as what their real name is, where they live, etc.
  • Stalking

For Creators:

  • Wanting to meet a viewer 1:1
  • Sending viewers personalized DMs
  • Encouraging unhealthy parasocial relationships via:
    • Creating “girlfriend experience” (GFE) or “boyfriend experience” (BFE) content
    • Asking suggestive questions such as “What would you do if we were alone?”

Examples

This article by LM Marie is a bit outdated but does a really good job summarizing various examples of parasocial attachment (including a positive one at the end) targetted towards corporate VTubers, specifically Hololive creators.

In a more recent example:

Sexual Harassment

While sexual harassment can occur to male creators as well, this section will focus more on the harassment of female creators due to online harassment (especially sexual harassment) disproportionately affecting women.

Due to the kayfabe and idol culture, many viewers can forget that there is a real person behind the VTuber. This can easily lead to unwanted sexualization and sexual harassment. Especially in male-dominated spaces like gaming, simply existing as a woman can lead to sexual harassment and threats. The same goes for members of the LGBTQAI+ community.

To keep yourself and your community safe, it is important to set clear boundaries and ban those who refuse to respect your boundaries and abide by your rules. Additionally, keep in mind that where you stream can affect the amount and type of harassment you receive.

How do I Set Boundaries?

  1. Set Stream Rules: Put clear rules in your stream descriptions stating what types of interactions you are not comfortable with.
  2. Shut it Down: In the Vox Akuma example above, he acknowledged part of the reason the harassment became so bad was due to being quiet and lenient for too long. When you see someone being rude or gross in chat, shut it down. I would recommend immediately removing and banning anyone being sexist, homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc. from your community ASAP.
  3. Set Clear Expectations for Mods: Let your mod team know when you’ve updated your rules so they can be aware of any changes. If you have been noticing an increase of certain types of behavior, ask that your mods be more alert of those types of behaviors.